# Newton’s Laws revisited

By Murray Bourne, 05 Oct 2006

Some laws which Newton forgot to stateâ€¦

LAW OF QUEUE: If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.

LAW OF TELEPHONE: When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged one.

LAW OF MECHANICAL REPAIR: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.

LAW OF THE WORKSHOP: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

LAW OF THE ALIBI: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.

BATH THEOREM: When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.

LAW OF ENCOUNTERS: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

LAW OF THE RESULT: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will!

LAW OF BIOMECHANICS: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

THEATRE RULE: People with the seats at the furthest from the aisle arrive last.

LAW OF COFFEE: As soon as you sit down for a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

[Thanks to K. for these. Original source unknown.]

### 5 Comments on “Newton’s Laws revisited”

1. Card0 says:

They're really funny! ha ha ha

2. Card0 says:

Wait, there is a general law:
THE OPPOSITE LAW
There are 4 thought-consequence outcomes:
+ thought, + outcome (the rarest)
+ thought, - outcome (very common. This can conclude a few of the above.)
- thought, + outcome (only the cleverest people can use this to their advantage!)
- thought, - outcome (too common to be listed)

3. Card0 says:

Found something: http://people.howstuffworks.com/murphys-law.htm

4. paresh says:

superb!!!

5. Dibyendu De says:

Excellent. Though extremely funny it is true.

### Comment Preview

HTML: You can use simple tags like <b>, <a href="...">, etc.

To enter math, you can can either:

1. Use simple calculator-like input in the following format (surround your math in backticks, or qq on tablet or phone):
a^2 = sqrt(b^2 + c^2)
(See more on ASCIIMath syntax); or
2. Use simple LaTeX in the following format. Surround your math with $$ and $$.
$$\int g dx = \sqrt{\frac{a}{b}}$$
(This is standard simple LaTeX.)

NOTE: You can't mix both types of math entry in your comment.